Jake's Future wife
by SourPanda
Summary: Jake was forced to marry a ugly girl but he has other plans then that... AU oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown. (Sadly) If I did, I would love make the Xiaolin dragons get tested on "Clipping Fung's Toe Nails 101". :D **

Jack's Future Wife

"Ding Dong," went the doorbell. But there was no answer. Nothing but the sound of a certain Goth sleeping soundly.

"Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong!"

"ARGH! Can't the Prince of Darkness, Jack Spicer ever get any beauty sleep for his skin to be soft n smooth?" grumbled a red-haired, paled skin 15 year old Goth. Jack sleepily blinked his eyes and went back to sleep. He immediately started drooling and snoring so loud that birds would fall off their nests just because of the volume. However, the bell rang even longer this time causing Jack to jump out of his bed with blood-shot and sleepy eyes. His crimson red eyes eyed his bedroom door. Jack yawned deeply and got off his bed dragging his favourite Telly Tubbies blanket behind him. The moment Jack turned the door knob, a girl with the same messy red-hair and paled skin as Jack pounced on him.

"JACKY POO! How has my babyish little brother been?" asked the red-haired girl. She looked exactly like Jack but imagine Jack in a pink tutu with a pair of matching pink ballet shoes together with stockings and accessorised with a HUGE pink ribbon his head.

"Don't call me "Jacky poo" I am not 'poo' and I'm only born 2 seconds after you so I'm NOT your BABY BROTHER JACLYN!" protested Jack but his sister was too busy doing her nails.

"WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE?" exclaimed Jack and all his sister answered was a small "what". Jack's face grew hotter and fumes came out through his ears and nostrils.

"What are doing here anyway, _sis_?" asked Jack furiously. The question got Jaclyn's attention and she stopped doing her nails and faced Jack.

"OH! Daddy and Mummy said that you have to get married to Bianca tomorrow afternoon. I'm so happy for my little brother *sniff* He finally grew up and is now going to have a family of his own *sniff*," answered his sister while she blew her nose.

"MARRIED TO BIANCA?" Jack froze at the phrase and started to imagine Bianca as his wife. Bianca was a childhood nightmare for Jack. She wasn't what one would call the prettiest; to be exact she's the exact opposite of pretty! Bianca weighed 93.6kg; twice the weight of Jack. She has a huge red zit on the centre of her forehead; freckles covered her chubby cheeks right under her pair of gigantic purple glasses which shielded her dirty grey eyes. She has a major crush on Jack since they first met. She would have her bedroom decorated with pictures of Jack Spicer and whenever she sees him she would squeeze him so tight he would pass out. Just thought of it makes the male Spicer sick in the stomach.

"NO WAY!"

"Tell Dad and Mum that." Behind walked in a couple in their 30s and 40s, pushing a stroller in front of them. Inside the stroller was a baby cuddling a Chase Young soft toy while sucking a pacifier. Right behind them was an old man in his 70s and another elderly woman. The couples and their baby ALSO looked exactly like Jack. The only differences were:

Mr Spicer: a short trimmed moustache and a pair of black nerdy glasses

Mrs Spicer: red curly short hair and with really red lipstick on

Grandpa Spicer: wrinkles everywhere; false teeth; long white beard; a walking stick and a pair of sunglasses that the blind people wear

Grandma Spicer: wrinkles; several yellowish teeth and glasses

Baby Spicer (Jackson Spicer): pacifier; red babyish cheeks and body size

Jack's jaw dropped when he saw his whole family before him. Fortunately, he became sane again and protested against his parents to marry Bianca. He even told them he had a girlfriend already.

"Well then son, who's this "girlfriend" of yours?" asked his father in a stern voice.

"It's… drum roll please."

"PUDDING CUP!" announced Jack and all of his family members just stared at him like he was kidding. Jack brought out the pudding cup and showed it to his family. Their expressions changed to cheerful gleeful smiles. Their eyes sparkled and drooled. They reached out their hands attempting to snatch the pudding cup out of his hand. Their expressions immediately showed the words "PUDDING TIME" all over their faces. Lucky for Jack, he turned to put the pudding back into the fridge without knowing about what his family's motive was to do to the pudding cup. His unawareness saved him his treasured pudding cup.

"I still remember the good times we had together," blurted out Jack dreamily.

**-Flashback-**

*Karaoke box*

Jack and pudding went there to sing some songs to relax them because they just experienced unfortunate happenings. Jack randomly switched the music until he came across his favourite song: Telly Tubbies opening song; but that was when he accidentally shook the table where the pudding cup was and it fell on top of the remote's button causing the song to change to the: I got no IPhone song by Parry Gripp.

"This song, Pudding Cup?" smiled Jack and he began singing it in his "Angelic" voice….

_I hate my life and I wanna die_

_I ain't got no iPhone_

_My heart is breakin', thinkin' suicide_

_I ain't got no iPhone_

_I hate my life and I wanna die_

_I ain't got no iPhone_

_My heart is breakin', thinkin' suicide_

_I ain't got no iPhone_

_Like a boat cap-sizin'_

_No hope on the horizon_

_Got a two-year contract_

_And I'm stuck on Verizon_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_I got no iPhone_

_(I got no iPhone) I hate my life and I wanna die_

_(I got no iPhone) (It's 2009 people, and everybody should have an iPhone) I ain't got no iPhone_

_(I got no iPhone) My heart is breakin', thinkin' suicide_

_(I got no iPhone) (Aw) I ain't got no iPhone_

*Theme park*

1) Roller Coaster

"AH! AH! AH! I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS AH!" screamed Jack at the top of his lungs while the pudding cup was buckled in the seat beside his.

2) Unicorn merry-go-round

"Lalala~" sang Jack along to the rides melody and his pudding cup sat there doing nothing.

3) Spinning teacups

"I-I-I'm D-d-d-dizzy…." Wobbled out a jelly-like Jack Spicer.

"W-w-wow pudding c-c-cup there are so many of you and your not dizzy… at all," fainted Jack after the last two words while the pudding cup just stood there motionless.

**-End of Flashback-**

"There was also a time-" Mr Spicer interrupted the sentence before Jack could go on bragging about his "dates" with Pudding Cup.

"Son…. We have come to a decision," Mr Spicer spoke and that made Jack tense. He didn't want to marry Ugly Bianca. HE WANTED PUDDING CUP! MARRY IT, EAT WITH IT, SLEEP WITH IT, HAVE CHILDREN WITH IT!

"You…." Jack sweated profusingly just by waiting for the decision's answer.

"WILL MARRY PUDDING CUP!" Mr Spicer said with a twinkle in his eyes. He was practically waiting to eat it.

And so Jack Spicer had a happy ending after all….

With his wife or husband….

Pudding Cup

"By the way did you know Chase Young was scowling at me when he heard I was marrying Jack Spicer the dope?" said the pudding cup with a sly wink…

"**FREE PUDDING CUPS FOR SALE!**" Roared Chase Young in the background

THE END!


End file.
